Sunday, November 6, 2011

Remodeling the House or the Marriage?

So, there's nothing like working on a tough, long-term project that brings out the best in each other....right?  (You don't have to answer that one.)

In the last month since we signed - Well actually, almost a year ago when we started looking at houses to buy, but I won't take you back that far....  (You can thank me later.)

In the last month since we signed the papers on this house, Honey and I have had opportunity to make lots of decisions together, share lots of opinions with one another, and find some things on which we disagree.  *Gasp!*  However, we have found many areas where we agree, i.e. he will crawl around in the creepy space under the house and I won't.  (By the way, he found another crawl space.)

Wouldn't you know it, on the way to church this morning, what started out to be a simple discussion about the addition to the house (an area where we agree) turned into volley of statements, each vying for importance over the last statement made by the other.

"Yes, I know, but blah, blah, blah...."

"Well, of course, blah, blah, blah, but...."

And so on and so forth, until the van was parked in the church lot and we parted company to our separate classes.  I was thankful I didn't have to teach this morning.  Yes, I was murmuring under my breath as I entered the church doors and managed a smile and cheery hello to the people I saw walking down the hall.

My mantra the last few days has been, "The Fruit of the Spirit IS in me.  Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control are qualities I have in me.  Thank you, Lord, for giving me what I need."  This mantra was generally recited through gritted teeth after I'd asked myself (murmuring under my breath), "Why is it so difficult to communicate?"

Coming upstairs to the lobby after class I saw my Honey standing there handing out fliers for their next men's event.  He saw me, smiled, and moved my direction.

Putting his arm around my waist and giving me a squeeze he asked, "You're not mad at me, are you?"

"Of course I'm not mad."

The way he looked at me was reminiscent of when we were young and he wanted nothing more than to please me.  Be still my heart.  :-)

On my way through the lobby, our daughters were standing with their friends.  "Mom!  We just saw you and Dad being all precious over there.  You were smiling at each other and talking.  Danielle saw you and said, 'Aw - look at your parents!'"  The girls seemed pleased.  So was I.

Thinking about this whole thing later, it occurred to me that the conversation we had before church and countless other similar conversations are really about being heard.  It's not even about being right.  He just wants me to hear that he knows what he's talking about and the budget is always at the forefront of this thoughts.  I just want him to hear that while I have definite wants, I'm really willing to make adjustments if it's needed.

Here are some truths I was reminded of today:

  • Jesus didn't die on the cross so I could struggle with life.  On the contrary, His Spirit lives in me and I walk in the Fruit of the Spirit.
  • When confronted with a truth about myself, I need to decide to take action.  Why sit through sermon after sermon, class after class, and daily quiet times and not take action on what I've heard?
  • God IS love.  His love is in me.  Through Him I can love.  Unconditionally.
I guess I say all this to say that "A House and Yard" isn't just about a house and a yard.  It's about a house, a yard, and the people who will live there very soon.  It's about God and family and life.  All the rest is icing on the cake.  With sprinkles on top.  And ice cream.  

I have decided.  No more murmuring!

 This is me and Brian being all precious.
photo taken by Sasha Logan @ rantings of a tomboy mom

1 comment:

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