A couple weekends ago my husband and I attended a marriage retreat with several couples from our church. One of the key points many of the women came away with is the fact that women are historical in nature, while men tend to be event-oriented. Normally, I shy away from putting men and women in totally separate boxes in the Venn Diagram. There is usually some overlap when it comes to generalizations about behavior, preferences, characteristics, etc. However, I can definitely see where the speaker was coming from with this one.
We girls get annoyed about something our man does and we remember how he did it two days ago, last week, two months ago, three years ago, AND the first time he did it - five days after the honeymoon was over. In fact, that's when we realized the honeymoon was over. (Just for the record, it's usually something that's not really a big deal either. Simply annoying.)
On the other hand, while our man might remember the incident from two days ago (if we brought it to his attention at the time), he doesn't remember last week, last year, and certainly not five days after the honeymoon was over. He thinks the honeymoon is still going! (Bless his little heart.)
I found myself struggling with this concept. If that's how we are...and I can see that we are...how do we make it work? Knowing that God knit each one of us together in our mother's womb and He made men to be men and women to be women, I believed He had a solution for the historical vs. event quandary. I just didn't know what it was.
A few of my friends and I were discussing this again Sunday evening at Bible study where I voiced my struggle. I was gently reminded of First Corinthians 13, the love chapter, and the part about "love keeps no record of wrongs." I know. I know I'm not supposed to keep a list, but we've been sitting agreeing that we are list-keepers! Then, I let it drop. However, the Holy Spirit didn't let it drop.
That's when the light turned on. At some point in my sleep I awoke with the thought, "I can keep a record of rights!" My historical nature can keep all the records it wants as long as the list is about the good things. As for the annoying things? God's mercies are new every day. I claim that for myself all the time. Perhaps it's time I follow the Lord's example and let my mercies be new every morning as well.
Summing it all up, friends,
I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and
meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.